I was missing you last night. Or, maybe I was just missing having someone. I was watching a TV show and the woman needed someone to help take her to the bathroom after her surgery. And because her husband had just passed, her friends were helping her around the clock. And I felt scared and sad because I no longer have you here with me. I could oddly relate to her widowed state.
I’m perfectly healthy right now. But, I really miss how you made me feel so safe and cared for. Whenever we would have tornado warnings, and I would feel so afraid, I would just pray thank you to my angels that I was able to go through that with you, and not have to go through it alone. And now, I’m alone. And I’m getting by okay, better than I thought. You’d be surprised, actually. But I don’t like this, and I still may not ever understand it.
I was thinking the other day how much this hurts. Because I showed up to our relationship, every day, for three and a half years, as my complete self. I was 100% authentic throughout the whole thing. And you, for whatever reason, decided that what I was offering just wasn’t what you were looking for. Ouch. I do know you never meant to hurt me. And at this point, I’m tired of going around in circles in my mind trying to figure out the why of it all. The point is, now, you’re not here with me, and I thought you always would be. And this sucks.
I made French toast this morning for myself, and it was fun. But I couldn’t help but think of all the mornings I made fun breakfast for us. And we would spend lazy days, doing our own thing, and then checking in with each other for hugs and kisses, snuggles, and conversation. That’s all I ever want in life, and I was so f****** happy with you. I wish you would have been that happy with me too. But I must believe that if you walked away from this, then it wasn’t meant to be. And that I’ll find beautiful love with someone else.
It’s been 48 days since you broke up with me and left our apartment. And I hope in time I will be able to let go of you. But for today, I miss you.
This very vulnerable letter was written by the beautiful Libby. She has an amazing blog called The Goddess Attainable which you should totally check out for your fix of goddess energy. Thanks for sharing Libby!
Break-ups can be ugly and moving on from a relationship, especially after being in one for years can be challenging. If you’re currently dealing with this, I’m sending you all the love in the world.
Find all the letters in this series here.