Get to know me.

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It’s the last Sunday in the month of August. I hope you all had an amazing and productive month. I decided to do a “Q n A” session today. To allow you, my lovely readers, to get to know me better. So I’m going to be answering 30 questions. Yes. 30. Read on and enjoy.

Are you named after anyone?

– Nope. Well not that I know of. However, I do have a namesake in my family. He is older than me but I don’t think I was named after him. I should probably ask.

When was the last time you cried?

– 8th August 2018. 3 weeks ago. I cried for a good 5 seconds because I had just left my family with no idea of when I would see them next. I was an emotional wreck.

Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want?

– No I have no kids. Yet. I would love to have 3 kids max and have a relationship with them as pure and beautiful as that of my parents and I.

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

– Yes I would! I think I am a really good friend. I’m supportive and loyal. I’m a good listener etc etc. (Gas yourself up b!)

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

– Yes. I’m not sure if this is a good trait but it sure does liven up conversations,unless of course, feelings are being hurt. I don’t like it when people aren’t able to identify sarcasm and end up being offended by my “jokes”.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

-Shoes. Shoes tell a lot about someone. Personality, what they’ve been through and of course their style. “Walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you judge them.” I know this has nothing to do with my answer but it felt appropriate to say.

What is your eye colour?

-Brown.

Scary movie or happy endings?

-Happy endings any day.

Do you have any special talents?

– I don’t know if they are special but yes, I have talents. I write (poetry, blogs, books (kinda)), I sing etc. These probably sound basic.

Where were you born?

-Lusaka, Zambia.

What are your hobbies?

-Writing, blogging and reading novels. I know travelling would be a hobby of mine but I can’t afford it.

Do you have any siblings?

– Yes. I have 2 lovely brothers. Both younger than me. 2 of my favourite humans.

What’s your Zodiac sign? Do you believe in it?

-Aquarius. No. I don’t believe in the Zodiac mess.

Who was your first best friend?

– Mubanga N. C. We never really broke up though. Just one of those things. She is still the love of my life and I’ve shared a good number of my funniest and weirdest experiences with her. A true gem.

How tall are you?

– More like how short are you? 154 cm or 5’0”.

Funniest moment throughout High School?

– I don’t exactly remember any right now but I know I had a good number because I can see myself laughing.

How many countries have you visited?

– Five. I really hope to travel more.

What was your favourite/worst subject in High School?

– Fav: Math, Physics and Literature. Worst: Chemistry.

How would you describe your fashion sense?

– I don’t have a specific style I like but I think I have good fashion sense. Anything with sneakers, I love.

What’s on your mind?

– Right now I’m thinking of how FPL is trash and I’m wondering whether this question thing was a good idea.

One word that describes you?

– I don’t know. If you have met me or talked to me, feel free to answer this in the comments.

Are you an extrovert or introvert?

– I’m not an introvert. I’m not an extrovert either. Just in between the two.

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast?

– Anything my mom makes for breakfast. I don’t know how she does it but when she prepares breakfast, it’s always good.

Do you smoke/ drink?

– Nope.

What’s your favourite book?

– This has been the hardest question so far. I can’t pick. But I really like “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

When you’re having a bad day, what do you do to make yourself feel better?

– I shut up, listen to soft music and read a book or write.

Who is the kindest person you know?

– My mom. I hope to be at least half the person she is.

What’s your favourite day of the week?

– Sunday. Good vibes only.

What’s the one food you could never bring yourself to eat?

– Pizza.

What advice would you give to a person you just met?

– Be your biggest fan and of course, love yourself.

That’s it. If  you have questions you would want me to answer, leave a comment or DM me. If you feel like answering these yourself, go ahead. Have an awesome week. Be kind and get to know someone this week.

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Love,

Wonani, Xx

A Trip To Livingstone, Zambia.

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I hope that from the above picture you are able to guess what this week’s post is about. Almost two months ago, I visited home, Zambia. During my short stay there, I took a short trip to Livingstone, the tourist capital of Zambia. In today’s post, I have a short review/summary of my trip to Livingstone.

Livingstone is a town in Southern Province. It lies north of the Zambezi River and is a tourism centre as it is the home of the Victoria Falls and is a border town, connecting you to Zimbabwe. The town is named after British Missionary Explorer David Livingstone who was the first European man to visit the place. The people of Southern province mainly speak Tonga which I am not conversant with. However, English, Bemba and Nyanja are also widely spoken so language barrier is nothing to worry about.

On our first day in Livingstone, we went to see The Victoria Falls. Fun Fact: The Victoria Falls is the largest sheet of falling water in the world. It is also one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. A true beauty to behold. Driving towards the falls, there is a very noticeable change in the humidity of the air. The temperature suddenly drops and you are surrounded by a coolness that I can’t exactly describe. From certain points on the road you can feel the water droplets from the falling water. As you drive, you also notice a “cloud of smoke” constantly rising which really adds to the excitement. The local name for the falls is “Mosi-oa-Tunya” which translates to “The smoke that thunders”. Amazing. when you reach the gate leading to the falls, you have to pay a small fee of course and then make your way to the falls. Some people sell rain coats there if you don’t want to get wet but for me, if you don’t get wet then you haven’t been to the falls. Going through the gate you are surrounded by thickets and a small path between which has been designed for you to walk on. A few metres from the gate you get your first glimpse of the falls.

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This has to be one of the most beautiful sights man can lay their eyes on. I had visited the falls two times prior to this visit but I felt like it was the first time I was seeing them. The water droplets hit your face and the feeling is magical. As you keep walking down the path, you get to the Knife Edge Bridge. The feeling as you walk across this bridge is so overwhelming. Of course, there are a few fearful moments but the beauty and uniqueness of the moment overcomes the fear. On the bridge you get mighty wet and sometimes you can’t even open your eyes. When you stand at the halfway point of the bridge and look back at the direction you are coming from, you come face to face with a full rainbow. Full as in a full circle. One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. On the other end of the bridge, everything becomes so bright. It’s hard to explain the type of bright but every colour pops. Be it the colour of the clothes you are wearing, the green of the plants surrounding you or the colours on the rainbow. Everything is just so bright and beautiful. It would do you good to have sunglasses with you. There are some really good picture spots here too. Of course, you have to cross the bridge again to go to where you came from and then if you want to, you can take a trip down to the boiling point. Unfortunately, The Devil’s Pool which is at the top of the falls wasn’t yet open because of the large amount of water flowing. At the time I was there, it wasn’t safe for use. That was bitter-sweet.

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On our Second day in Livingstone, we visited The Reptile Park. Reptiles are animals that have dry scaly skin and typically lay soft-shelled eggs on land. animals like snakes, crocodiles and tortoises. As you can guess, the park had Crocodiles and snakes in abundance and a small number of tortoises. The crocodiles are in enclosures so there’s no need to fear for your life. I remember one huge crocodile that is said to have eaten about 5 people from the Zambezi River. He was huge! Did you know crocodile biltong is a thing? Well it is. We also saw the snakes and got a change to hold the small ones which was frightening at first but extremely cool as time went on. We saw one tortoise which was blind and that was really sad.

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This made me laugh so hard!

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On the same day, we took a drive through Mosi-oa-Tunya National park. Mosi-oa-Tunya, as I stated earlier, means Smoke that thunders. The national park isn’t as big as other parks I have been too and doesn’t have the big cats such as lions, leopards and cheetahs because it is surrounded by places of residence so such animals are a life hazard. However, we got to see Elephants, giraffes, Zebras, Antelopes and many other animals. the most spectacular animal I saw was the White Rhino. Fun Fact: The Rhino isn’t white. the first people to come across this specie were the dutch who communicated with the Americans and told them thy had seen a Wide Lipped Rhino. Sadly, The Americans heard White Rhino because of the way the dutch pronounce some words and so from that day many years ago, that particular specie of rhinos were known as White Rhinos. It’s a funny story.

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The Zambezi River

the Rhino’s are heavily guarded 24/7. this particular animal is widely hunted by poachers and so the have to be guarded. the interesting thing is the horn of the rhino can easily grow back (made of Keratin) but because these animals are very dangerous when threatened, poachers opt to kill the animals and then cut of the horn so as to spare their own lives. Poaching must end.

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White Rhinos in the background.

On one of our nights there, we took a sunset cruise on The Lion King. The experience was great and so was the live music. The sunset viewed from the Zambezi was magical!

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The Lion King

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On our third and final day, we visited Mukuni Big Five Safari. Here we did the Elephant Safari ( elephant back riding) and Lion walking. This is by far one of the most thrilling things I’ve ever done. The elephants were so friendly and so were the guides. The Lion walking was amazing. My heart was in my mouth most of the time. definitely an experience I would encourage all of you to have.

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That’s it for this week! I hope you enjoyed this piece as much as I did.

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Have an amazing week.

Love,

Wonani, Xx

Blog gets old.

 

One Month

Last week, my blog turned one month old! I didn’t celebrate last week because we had the “Dear Younger Self” series that needed completion. If you haven’t seen that post and would like to, go to the home page and you’ll find it right there. Happy one month to Adult Child!!!!

Starting a blog is easy. Just create the website and there you have it! Maintaining it is where the work comes in. This one month has been full of lessons. It really may not look like it considering I only have about 4 or 5 posts up now but trust me, every week I learn something. So here are a few things I’ve learnt:

First of all, maintaining a blog means time. Putting aside time every week to plan your content and your posts. I literally take days to prepare an article or whatever it is you can call these. It’s like a whole other course in school (Of course school comes first. Just saying). So time management really is key. This is definitely one of the biggest lessons

Secondly, it teaches one to gain some sort of professionalism. Of course, before anything else, I write these for myself. So that relieves the pressure of me trying not to be boring. Really, if these are boring to you then I can guarantee you I am not someone you would want to spend an entire day with. I’m gonna come back to these some time later and use them as reminders of different things I’ve learnt. I say it requires professionalism in that obviously, I’m not the only on who reads what I write. So I don’t expect myself to publish half-baked work because then why am I putting it out for the world to see if I can’t deliver?

Thirdly, this platform has given me the ability to interact with people on a different level from what I’m used to. Everyone who has helped me so far has been super supportive and inspiring. Basically, teaching me to be outgoing.

Lastly, one thing that really is draining about this entire concept is coming up with content and staying relevant. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m writing this like I have been blogging for an entire year LOL! Really though, coming up with new content isn’t easy and I am so grateful it isn’t because the search for what to write about makes me do one of the things I love to do the most, read!!!! So yeah. This is a whole commitment. Like I really can’t turn back from this. I’m not giving up.

ANNOUNCEMENT!!! From next week onward, I will be having a specific theme to cover every month. I didn’t want to say this now but for the sake of understanding, the month of July is themed: “QUEEN CULTURE.” This means evry post in July will be something related to queens or females. Stick around boys it’s gonna be interesting. I hope you get the idea. So, that’s my gift, from me to Adult Child and everyone who follows.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed one way or another be it emotionally, morally or whatever other way it is you helped. I’m more than glad to be doing something I love with your help.

Here’s to more posts from me.*sips champagne*

I don’t apologise for the short post. I’ll give your eyes a rest this week. I’m nice like that. Finally, if you liked this post, or any other post, like it, leave your thoughts/comments in the comment section and follow the blog to get notifications each time I post! If you have any suggestions or you would like me to write about something specific, leave a comment or send me an email with whatever it is you have to say. My e-mail address is somewhere on the home page.

See you all next week as we begin a new month and tackle “QUEEN CULTURE.”

That’s it for this week!

Love,

Wonani, Xx.

Addressing Fear.

Addressing Fear

Recently, a friend of mine asked how I found it easy to share my blog publicly like I do without hiding my identity. Truth be told, I initially didn’t plan on exposing my identity but instead, use a made up character because I felt I was going to be exposing too much about my life and my feelings and I was afraid of people seeing a different side of me. Clearly I chose a different direction simply because I didn’t want fear to get the better of me.

So, for this week’s blog I decided to tackle fear. I’ll give examples of fears or phobias I have and then tell you how I overcame them or what I’m doing to get rid of them. I tried thinking and looking for a word I could use in place of “fear” but I couldn’t find one. I generally don’t like the word in this context.

I’m afraid of large bodies of water like oceans or huge rivers. I’m afraid of rapidly flowing waters. I’m afraid of failure and of not achieving my goals or things I hope to achieve. I’m afraid of not beating or going above standards and I’m afraid of loss. I’m afraid of being around a particular group of people for a long period of time because I’m afraid of people getting too familiar with me.

From everything I have said above, it’s safe to say what really bothers me are things that make me feel small. Like the ocean for example. Standing on the shore of the water always makes me feel small. Why? Because I can’t see where the stretch of water ends on the other side. I begin to feel like I’m worthless to the water. I feel like I am even smaller than a water droplet. I really don’t like the feeling. Fear. So when the time comes to get on a boat cruise or swim in the ocean, I go ahead but with zero excitement.

People getting familiar with me and vice-versa. I am afraid of people being too familiar with me because I feel once people think they know you so well, they assume it’s okay to judge your actions or comment on everything you do simply due to the fact that they know every aspect of you. Also, I think the more people know about you, the more vulnerable you appear in their eyes. Lastly, due to an experience I had, I decided not to let people become too familiar with me. You see, the moment you let yourself become too comfortable around people or someone because they have given you the impression you should be open with them, you think you can tell them your deepest thoughts or let them in on things you consider personal. And what happens when they can’t handle your truth? Rejection.

Another one I will explain is failure. I’m so afraid of failure that it pushes me to work so hard so as to never put myself in such a position. In school for example. I always try my best to do extremely well. The countable times I ever failed made me feel smaller than the image of myself I had painted. I consider myself a brilliant girl with the potential to achieve the most. Unfortunately, there were times I actually ended up failing an exam or failing at a task I was given and honestly, I don’t think I have felt more pathetic than I did in those moments. Failure is scary. Hopefully, no one ever wishes to fail.

That’s only some of the things I feel intimidate me. How did this list come about? Experience. I had some sort of experience with each of the fears I listed or explained above. During one conversation I had with my mother, she said to me “How can you crave something you’ve never tried or had?” I thought that was a good and genuine question because in all honesty a person can never crave something they have never had but can only crave the basic properties of its texture or flavour.

You may be wondering why I brought up the whole craving idea. Well it’s something I noticed as I acknowledged my fears. They all came about because I experienced them. For example, I had to stand on the shore of an ocean for me to realise I had a problem with large water bodies. I realised I was afraid of failure when I failed an exam. A whole exam that I had spent money on. I also realised I was afraid of familiarity with people when I faced rejection. So what’s my point here? You may never really come across things that intimidate you until you experience them.

How to overcome the fear? I read in Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom that “….The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” We have to conquer our fears but how exactly are we supposed to do that? I am not a psychologist or anything like that. In any case I’m still working towards my first degree so everything I am about to say is from my own experiences and these are all things that worked and are still working for me.

  • Acknowledge the fear: you need to be aware that what you feel is fear or some sort of intimidation. Being aware of the problem is the first step to solving it.
  • Talk to someone about it: Don’t just sit and drown in your sorrows over something you are afraid of or something that intimidates you. I discovered that the fear is lessened the moment I tell someone about how I feel. Make sure to tell someone who won’t intimidate you or make fun of your “fears” as this could most likely have a psychological impact on you. Understand that there are people who once had the same fear you have or aren’t afraid of whatever you are afraid of at all!! Ask them to help you go through the problem. Your best friend is your best friend for this reason.

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  • Challenge the fear: I had to go back to the shore in order to get rid of the fear. I had to take another exam and work hard to ensure I don’t have to fail it again. Challenge yourself. I’m not saying throw yourself in a den of lions if lions scare you. If what you are afraid of is a real threat to your life, just walk away slowly lol. This bad picture is my friends and I at a waterfall; right where the water was falling.

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  • Monitor your progress: take note of your heart. Does it still beat as fast as the time it did the very first time you walked into an exam room or met new people? If not, then you are making progress and get yourself a little congratulatory gift. In these two pictures you see my friends and I all smiles after being awarded.

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  • Last but not the least, as someone who believes in God, Pray about it: 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (a sound-mind).” Don’t ever allow fear to own you.(This is why I didn’t want to use the word “fear” in the first place lol.)

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I hope all this makes sense and helps one or two people out there.

Tell me in the comments what some of your “fears” or phobias are and we could talk about it and help each other out. Also, If you suffering from anxiety, let me know by sending me an e-mail and I will help you get in touch with someone who would be more than willing to help you through it.

That’s it for this week.

Love,

Wonani, Xx.

Moving to Malaysia.

Location blog

Growing up, I never really went for holidays. Almost every time I asked my father if I could go to a relatives’ house for a week, he would respond, “Why do you have to be the one to go? Why can’t they come instead?” So I rarely left home. However, years flew by and suddenly it was time for uni and I was saying goodbye to my family at the airport. Location change.

This week marks 8 months since I left my home country, Zambia, to study in Malaysia. Leaving home was so hard considering what I just explained but it was a challenge I couldn’t wait to face. Being in a new country, with new faces (and countable familiar ones) and with a new culture isn’t the easiest of things to do but is without a doubt one of the most amazing. In today’s blog, I’ll give 5 positives I learnt and discovered during my time alone here till now.

  1. I LEARNT TO BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT REAL QUICK!

    So if you were never on some sort of monthly allowance when you were home, you are suddenly put on one when you leave. You have to come up with a monthly budget in order to regulate your expenditure and ensure that you don’t live like a pauper at any point in the month. It goes without arguing that sometimes this is impossible **hides face**. My first few months were great money wise. When I tell you I flourished in my first semester, I mean just that! But then along the way I started getting broke extremely fast and the Dollar went mad, which isn’t good if you come from a country like mine. Like way before the month ends, I would be completely dry. Now, unless your family is a bank or you are more financially privileged than I am, you understand that you can’t just call home every time you run out of money because well you screwed yourself up and they have budgets of their own too. So I really had to grow up financially. Rule 1: Make sure you have food and ensure the benefit outweighs the cost (S/O to my amazing friend Reuben). Believe me you don’t want to starve in a foreign country. So that’s the first. Learn to manage your money.                                                                             Related image

  2. I’VE MET NEW PEOPLE AND MADE NEW FRIENDS.

    I have met some of the most amazing people so far. I have made an amazing group of friends. People from different countries, cultures and backgrounds. Their characters are actually quite different from mine but this makes the adventure even more pleasant because well, I got to interact with different personalities and figure out how to deal with different people. However, not everyone can be your friend so this is where I applied some “wisdom” in deciding who is best to befriend and who isn’t. It’s really okay not to be friends with everyone. I joined amazing Church and an awesome connect group. So yeah, living alone in a new places requires you to meet and know people if you are to survive. RULE 2: Pack your shy attitude in your suitcase till you know you are comfortable enough to get around alone.                                                                                                                                                                                                                IMG-20171007-WA0009IMG-20180107-WA0094IMG-20180312-WA0182IMG-20180312-WA0033

  3.  I DISCOVERED A NEW SENSE OF ADVENTURE.

    I must admit, I was quite shocked myself. Generally, I’m a homebody. I would very much rather stay home than go out. Most times my friends asked if I wanted to go out with them, I said no because I told myself that’s my free time so I will probably have coffee whilst reading a good novel (Come semester 2 I don’t know what free time is lol). The few times I joined them, I had fun. Seeing places I’d never seen or even heard of and that just makes me curious to want to see more and more places. I would probably do the most when it comes to travelling and sightseeing but I’m still figuring out student budgets and trying to have a good GPA. So yeah, moving out here aroused an interest in trying out new things. I just feel adventurous!! The wanderlust is overwhelming. RULE 3: All work and no play makes John a dull boy.                                                                                                                                                              IMG-20180312-WA0028IMG-20180107-WA0082IMG-20180312-WA0207IMG-20180312-WA0216

  4. SMALL ACCOMPLISHMENTS MEAN A LOT.

    This should be my favourite lesson so far because the way I hype myself is unbelievable. It’s like I suddenly turned into some sort of Wonder Woman because sometimes I do things I never though I could accomplish. Like Wakanda life is this? Okay no more superhero references. (Marvel is better than DC). Well living alone makes you realize that no one will do things for you if you don’t do them yourself. Examples; I braid my own hair, I manage to submit assignments I thought were hard, I easily move around the city alone etc. It’s amazing. Things I never thought I would be able to do alone, I managed to do. I might just be Captain Marvel. RULE 4: Be your own biggest fan.                                             IMG-20180321-WA0011

  5. I AM ACCOUNTABLE FOR EVERY MOVE I MAKE.

    Last one!!! Simply put, I can’t blame anyone for my misjudgments or for the fact that I got lost somewhere. Everything falls on me. Parents/Guardians aren’t physically there to keep an eye on me or give me immediate guidance on things. So at the end of the day it all falls on me. I are responsible for myself. I am accountable. RULE 5: Do constant self-evaluations; Monitor your progress.

I hope you learn something from my experience and apply it to yourselves… somehow.

In the comments section, tell me what your experience moving away from home, starting university or getting your own place was like. Also, do tell what you’d like to have me write about or what you would like to see here.

Have an amazing week!

Love,

Wonani, Xx